A Progressive Advent - Who am I to Judge?

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Mystical Experiences

Have you ever had a mystical experience? You experienced something so profound, but had a difficult time trying to explain it. That's my best definition of a mystical experience. If I'm being honest with myself, I have experienced this both as a conservative Evangelical and as a Progressive Christian. Mysticism is not unique to any one religion, either. Normally it is very difficult for me to describe.

Once a friend of mine asked her friends for advice on devotions to read or whatever enhanced our Christian life. Something that has profoundly affected me is contemplative meditation, specifically body scanning. My friend had never heard of it and she looked it up. She thanked me for the advice, but said that she wasn't looking for relaxation techniques, but for something to read, like a book.

I smiled. Body scanning, when one looks at it initially, does seem to be a type of relaxation technique, but it is more than that and it's hard to quantify. I first learned about it through the Liturgists Podcast. In their guided meditation, not only was I relaxed, which was an initial benefit of the meditation, but I also felt closer and more one with God than I ever had before. The experience was truly profound just as it was inexplicable. Those of you who just looked up the link probably are also scratching your heads to figure out what this has to do with Christianity.

It's a mystery.

There are certain aspects of my spiritual life that are so hard to fathom. This is one of them.

Paul, in his letter to the believers in Corinth, Greece, tried to expound on this (1 Corinthians 4:1-5 CEB):

So a person should think about us this way - as servants of Christ and managers of God's secrets. In this kind of situation, what is expected of a manager is that they prove to be faithful. I couldn't care less if I'm judged by you or by any human court; I don't even judge myself. I'm not aware of anything against me, but that doesn't make me innocent, because the Lord is the one who judges me. So don't judge anything before the right time - wait until the Lord comes. He will bring things that are hidden in the dark to light, and he will make people's motivations public. Then there will be recognition for each person from God.

What does it mean to be a Christian? Paul said it was like someone who is a manager of God's secrets (or mysteries). That is normally not exactly the first thing that pops up into someone's head when they think of a Christian, but that should be what we do. We are managers of Christ's mysteries.

What does that look like? I believe it's all in our attitude and how we engage other people. A loving attitude is how we should engage others.

Losing My Religion

When I was going through my divorce, I reached out to one of my mentors. He dropped everything he was doing and came down to be with me while my life and my ministry came undone. He listened to the heartache I was going through and was by my side. We don't believe the same things about God and theology: far from it, but he was there for me in a way that I will never forget. He was a servant of the mysteries of Christ.

I had just moved into a new apartment. My family was a great support to me and helped me move as best as they could, but physically this was very difficult for them due to their age and health issues. Being new to the area, I reached out to a friend who dropped everything he was doing and helped me move into my new apartment. He and I believe so vastly differently as far as theology is concerned. He is a conservative Pentecostal, but he was also a servant of the mysteries of Christ.

I had just been told I was unwelcome at my last church because of my views on marriage equality. I nearly thought I should leave it all behind. If that was how other Christians treated each other, why should I stay in that religion? Then I remembered this church, where the pastor had spoken up on behalf of the LGBTQ+ community so forcefully before the city council. I thought to myself, "If ever there were a church I would choose to attend, it would be this." So I went to this church, introduced myself to the pastor, who invited me to coffee. When I told him my story about being bisexual, being defrocked, and being told I wasn't welcome to be a member of my old church, he didn't bat an eye. He just accepted me for who I was. He was a servant of the mysteries of Christ.

I was not judged.

That could have happened, too. In all honesty, it did happen, but not by these people. I had family members who condemned me for being a sinner for being bisexual. No one, except for one person, from my last division (an administrative division of The Salvation Army) reached out to me to ask me if I was ok or to even ask me what happened. Instead, most of them gossiped about me and speculated as to why I had been terminated as an officer (pastor) in The Salvation Army. When I was rejected as a member of The Salvation Army and had to fight to become a member, most of the people in the local congregation unfriended me on social media or outright blocked me. 

It would have been so easy to lose my faith. I nearly did because of the hatred shown to me by those in my faith.

Why do I stay? It's because there were those who did not judge me.

Paul says as much:  "So don't judge anything before the right time - wait until the Lord comes."

One of the things that has hurt me the most was the judgment from other people. Christians would say that they were trying to tell me "the truth in love," but mostly that meant:  "This is how I am right and you are wrong." It was never showing me love, but trying to argue with me. I'll admit it. I am prone to engage such arguments, but these have proven to be fruitless.

Christians, both conservative and progressive, are masters at judging and canceling each other out. (By canceling, I mean getting a group of people to no longer support or acknowledge someone who used to be a part of their community.) Sometimes this is called "shunning." This is one of the most hurtful and hateful things Christians do and it rarely brings the intended effect.

Are there times when we shouldn't support another person because what they are doing is actually harming people? Absolutely. However, that should also be the absolute last resort and not the weapon one chooses right away.

Instead, we should be more prone to love, not judge. We should assume the best in people, not the worst. We should look on each other as God does:  created in God's image. When we see the divine in someone else, our attitude should change. It might not change the other person, but it should change us.

During this Advent, my hope for myself is to be more a manager of the mysteries of Christ and less a sentry posted at a gate that God has kept unlocked.